Today I had planned to write a particularly festive blog post about all the joyful things, but my mind isn’t in it. I’ve been staring at a blank screen for way too long and the words I want just aren’t forming. My sentences look wrong and my thought process seems to be clunking its way around my brain and yet picking up words that make no sense when strung together. So that plan is out the window and instead I’m just going to let my fingers type and not think about it.
Right now I don’t feel hugely festive and I’ve been trying to work out why that is. It’s not because I’m still at work, because that’s a usual occurrence for me at this time of year. I’ve made sure that I’ve baked festive treats, watched Christmas films and tramped around London, and New York, to look at all the Christmas lights, yet I still don’t feel ready for this time of year.
But I think I’ve finally realised what the issue is, it’s everything else that’s going on in the world right now. All the atrocities across the world, along with all the anger and heartache that comes with it, are making me feel so sad right now. And I can’t be merry and bright while I feel sad for the world. But what can I do? We can’t ignore what’s going on, each day brings with it another news bulletin with a further event to understand and react to. As much as I may want to I cannot bury my head in the sand. So what can I do? How can I, one little person living in London, help the world and ease the suffering.
I guess the first thing to say is that I must stay present in the news, I must see what’s going on, and learn from it. And then I have to do something to help. Even if it’s something small, every little helps. So that’s what I’ve been doing these last few weeks. Alongside my normal charity outgoings I’ve added a few more things.
- I’ve reserved beds at Crisis for Christmas
- I’ve signed up to give a monthly amount to Medecins sans Frontieres
- and instead of my usual one item to the food bank I’ve been giving more on each visit to the supermarket
I know it’s not much, and I know I could be doing so much more, but it’s a start, and it’s more than I’ve been doing previously. These things are helping me. I’ve been reading more, learning more and helping more and that is helping me process everything easier too.